a repost. first written on march 23, 2006

I would like to think that I am a patient person though several circumstances and situations signified that I am not. The whole waiting process, plus the uncomfortable weight of my son inside my tummy, agonized me everyday. I walk at least 5 km every morning and every afternoon, and my nanay won’t allow me to order the maids around. Not even for water when I am sitting pretty watching tv. I have to do almost all chores by myself (exercise inday, exercise. Argh!). I know I looked disgusting already, with my pudgy fingers and toes, plus the really enlarged nose so I hardly have the zest to walk around our subdivision to at least hasten the delivery process.

My son, I have discovered, is a natural acrobat. I have concluded that ever since he started moving around in my small tummy. My nanay would always get goosebumps everytime he would perform, mostly at nights when Mommy would like to get some rest. He would spread out his legs, move his arms up and down, up and down and then sometimes trace his finger around the walls of his residence.

I was thinking (and hoping) that my son would make an early entrance, probably at around the 2nd or 3rd week so I can maximize my maternity leave. But hahay, he was enjoying his own world inside and didn’t show any signs of leaving anytime soon. I was getting frustrated day after day, and missing Ppip terribly since he was left here in Cebu. I cried for the every day that he would call and would almost beg for him to file his leave and come home to Negros already. Lord, please have me in labor today. I would appreciate it, very much.

March 19
I went to visit my OB-Gyne with my Nanay and Tatay in tow. I think they were more excited than I am. While I was weary and exhausted already because of the long wait, they were chirpy, thrilled and ugh, almost annoyingly loud.

My doctor, Dr. Josephine Casanova, checked my opening. 1 cm, 2 days before my son’s scheduled birthday. She also checked my pelvimetry results (pelvic xray) which I took a week before. The baby’s head was where it should be, a good news. The bad news is, my pelvis’ size is somewhere in between the small and medium range, which means I might have difficulty pushing the baby out. Which also means, they might have to cut me to let my son out. But, she assured us that I still have the chance to have a normal delivery. Just as long as I will have the opening to slide the baby out into the world.

She wasn’t through yet. She said that should I not be in labor by March 21, I should have another ultrasound on the 22nd to check my water level. If my baby still has enough fluid, we can wait for another week to deliver. But if God forbid my water would be below the required level, she has to induce me for 8 hours and would be forced to slice my tummy. Oh. My mother then asked about the rates for normal and caesarian labor. Geez, they were talking about an amount waay bigger than our savings.

Another prayer. Lord, please let me have a normal delivery. We can’t afford a caesarian operation.

March 22
Great. No signs of labor or whatsoever on the 21st, which also happened to be my paternal grandmother’s birthday. So off to Bacolod we go, ready to have an ultrasound and preparing to hear the best news, and well, also the worst.

My father (really, my mother left him there with me. Don’t get me wrong. I love my father, very much, but I would have wanted my mother there with me. What with all of the pregnant women there) accompanied me in the laboratory. He looked tired, and worried. I went inside the room and had the doctor poke and inspect and analyze my pregnancy with her instrument. My baby was even playing hide and seek with her! She asked for my expected date of delivery. I answered March 21. Uh-oh, was all I heard. “You may just wait for the results outside.”

15 minutes later, the attendant handed me the result. Scan, scan, scan. Water level: borderline. Ting-ting-ting-ting. I just knew then and there I am in trouble. Hahahaha.

Dr. Casanova confirmed my thoughts. “We will start at 8:00 am tomorrow so we can start the operation early in case you won’t progress. Blah blah blah.” My nanay was talking about calling her friend, who happens to be one of the owners of the hospital, to reserve a room. And also of course, to get the assurance that her little girl would get the best treatment possible. We fairly know how some doctors and nurses treat patients, especially those who seem not to have enough. Which is really sad.

I called Ppip immediately. After a dozen missed calls, he finally contacted me. I was irritated when he seemed too slow to digest what I was telling him. “I am giving birth tomorrow, ano ba!” A few more text messages later, the reality finally sinked in on him. “Sorry na gud. Ikaw pa lang ingnon na manganak na imong uyab, matarantar sad ka. I will be there tomorrow.”

I also texted my Admin family in Cebu and the rest of the people concerned. Actually, I think Globe benefited so much from all the hype that I, Alveel Kaith Consolacion, will finally give birth the next day.

March 23 (Holy Wednesday)
I had my share of Lenten sacrifice, nobody could ever dare argue with that.

I didn’t get much sleep the night before, was too tired from the trip and too anxious for the next day’s event. My cousin from Manila arrived also for a visit, after like, 20 years. Another witness to my suffering. But he is one of my best-loved cousins so his presence also assured me that everything’s gonna be okay, despite my mind’s protests that no, it won’t be since they’re gonna slice me apart! I also had to be alert since Ppip’s trip is scheduled at 2:00 am and knowing his tendency for last minute preps, I had to wake him up so he won’t go running after the bus.

8:00 am – arrived at the hospital just in time. No problems checking in, with no deposit pa ha. Immediately went straight to the labor room. Dang, this is it. The moment of truth. But I never felt the fear. Worries, yes. I felt like I was floating the entire time, willfully surrendering myself to whatever they decide to do to me. I had a rosary and the Lord of Pardon with me as they strapped me to a bed. Maarte kaya ako so I was like “eew, do I really have to wear this medicine-smelling gown?” hehehe. Interview portion, I am single, not married, but I have a boyfriend. The nurses were treating me like a kid, no problem really. I am a kid, who would be having a kid. Weird. Hehehe.

9:00 am – They have started the ritual. Injections here and there, IV, blood tests, baby-heartbeat checking instrument, etc. My nanay was with me the entire time they were performing various inhumane stuff on me. Inhumane daw. Hahaha. Tao po ako, I am not a pig. Amazingly, I didn’t cry for the several times they have invaded my privacy with a needle. Yes, it hurt but it didn’t matter. I have to start being strong now. Who knows what will happen in the next few hours.

1st IE – still at 1 cm. The resident doctor told me again (she was calling me “tata,” do I really look like a 16-year old mother) that as per my ob’s advice, should my cervix not open wide enough by 4:00 pm, I know what’s coming.

9:30 – 3:00 pm – Contractions, contractions, contractions. Good thing the intern assigned to me was also from our hometown. I know she was also silently praying that I deliver normally so she can finally have a case and be able to graduate the same month. She was patient, very patient with me and kept on talking to ease my discomfort. She would accompany me to the CR every now and then so she can hold my IV while I pee inside.

Walang humpay na bisita. My parents would alternate with my titas, sister, cousin and Ppip in visiting me inside the labor room. I think I was the only one allowed with multiple visitors at one time for I overheard one resident doctor tell the visitors of the patient two beds away from me “one visitor at a time please ma’am.” I discreetly then told my titas to go out for a while kc ayokong ma-issue. I am not ready to face the cameras of the Buzz yet. “Kaith, totoo ba ang issue na pinaboran ka sa ospital, blah blah. “Naku po Tito Boy, it’s not true.”

Manang Glynis, an asst anesthesiologist in the hospital and a very close family friend (plus neighbor) also frequented the room. She also gave birth 6 months before that so I guess she felt for me. She discussed my condition with the resident doctors and kept on encouraging me to hold on.

I was glad that I really wasn’t grumpy during my labor. I was laughing the entire time and people watching in my mind. My tita observed, “Ay indi pa na amo day, kay gakadlaw pa ka.”

My doctor arrived at around noon, IE-d me and, great surprise, “2 cm.” I somehow heaved a sigh of relief. I am progressing, I might be 8 cm by 4 pm, for all we know. Prayers, prayers.

By 3:30 pm, the patient beside me was wheeled in the delivery room. She arrived at 10 am, at 3 cm, and reached 9 cm after roughly 5 hours. Whew. It was her 2nd or 3rd child by the way. Di man ko tantong chismosa so I just know. Hehehe. I am left alone in the labor room again.

4:00 pm – Final IE, 2 cm, no improvement. Heartbeat racing fast. The resident doctor then looked for my mom. “Mrs., 2 cm pa gd. So CS na ta si Alveel ha.” Then the tears fell. Not because I was scared, but because I was mentally calculating the hospital bill already. Hahahaha. Everything happened so fast. And I couldn’t stop crying already. The skin test was really painful so I made it an excuse for my tears. Also, the pain was starting to get really really unbearable. Add to that my son’s kicks and wiggles so I was more than willing to push him out already.

CR break. I guess I am a CR girl through and through. Ppip was already beside me, with the rest of my family. It seemed like a scene from a movie, or cge, a teleserye. Feeling ko I am…Sharon Cuneta. Difference is, I am not shouting “aray, aray, ang sakiiiit!”

They were waiting for me in the operating room already. They included my OB, my pedia, the anesthesiologist who came all the way from a family affair, and a dozen more hospital attendants. I requested if I can just use the wheel chair instead of the bed on the way to the OR. I don’t want to look like a patient, please. But they won’t let me, “higda gd ko kuno. Hahay.”

I arrived at the operating room. Tugnaw ha, I am freezing cold, with nothing underneath the medicine-smelling gown. Lo and behold, all the OR staff were guys! Just imagine my embarrassment while they undressed me to prepare me for the anesthesia. Shet, my stretchmarks! But kebs, bahala. I just wanted to end the agony.

My OB and pedia then comforted me. I had my pedia by the way since I was like, 10 years old so he is like an uncle to me. I caught a glimpse of my nanay’s camera phone and our new video cam. Asus, gpadala ni Manang Glynis, who assisted in the whole procedure.

The anesthesiologist was very motherly. Right after she injected 2 doses of anesthesia, she began conversing with me, asking me casual questions. She even said that I am a pretty mom. Hahaha. I’m sure she just said it to calm me. I wanted to see what they were doing with my insides (if tinuod ba gyd tong sulti sa akong nanay na habwaon gyd akong intestines).

Then I felt a push, more like a press, in my left side. “oops, aww, sakit.” I complained. “Dali lang gd day,” “Ok, there you go.” “Ay tinlo tinlo sang baby!” And I heard my Rafael’s first little cries.

March 23, 2005, 5:36 pm, 6.6 lbs. Rafael Angelo Consolacion-Cimafranca

They carried him away to clean and tidy him first, all in video. And when he is presentable to the world already, he was given to me. Kiss, kiss, kiss. I didn’t cry, as I expected. I was just so overwhelmed and relieved that finally, it’s over. That the little bundle wrapped in green is the same creature inside my tummy for 9 months.

I wasn’t surprised when my entire family was in the recovery room. They were all hovering over my half-conscious, drugged self. I told my tita, “Ta, kindly tell the media na bwas lang ko ma press con, lain pa matyag ko subong.” Diin ka da? Hahaha.

I kept on vomiting for the next three hours, which they said is normal. I left the recovery room after an hour and drifted in and out of sleep the rest of the night.

Well, that’s basically what happened. My first born, my first love.